Heteros, it’s time you came out too


Though straight people will never know the real struggle of what it’s like to identify and announce themselves as something other than the socially accepted norm, there is still much they can learn from the process of coming out: Add this to the long list of radical cultural, intellectual, artistic, and sexual practices straight people cop from their LGBTQ sisters and brothers. The deep emotional work necessary to take an inventory of sexual desire and summon the courage to pursue and express it is worth the effort.


No, I don’t mean that straight people should start coming out to their friends and families as straight. That would be ridiculous and awful! What I mean is that, just because you’re a woman who prefers dick, doesn’t mean you have to aspire to or accept the oppressively boring and limited sexual roles reflected back at you in popular culture. If you don’t like penetration, then don’t settle for it as the default definition of sex.  Or, just because you have a vagina, you are not necessarily, to borrow another gay term, a “bottom.” God gave us pegging for a reason—it might be worth a try?


It’s time for straight people to stop relying on the comforts and camouflage that social acceptance affords them. Challenge yourselves and get creative! For women especially, this means familiarizing yourselves with, seeking out, and advocating for your own pleasure, without fear of offending men. And men, it’s time for you to be open listeners and willing partners. Receptiveness begins in your ears and, if all goes well, could end in your asshole.

Chelsea Beck